


Before I Let Go

by StoriBambino



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Demon Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Light Bondage, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 11:35:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22849528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoriBambino/pseuds/StoriBambino
Summary: If you want me come get me
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	Before I Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> My first Destiel fic
> 
> This came about from a twitter prompt posted by casscutiebee

Castiel had been tracking Dean for weeks. Sam was slowly but surely running out of leads and Cas was running out of patience. He’d had so much hope when he had been able to track down Crowley but it turned out to be just another dead end. All the lackluster King of Hell had to offer were complaints that were more suited for a jaded lover than any useful information. With only ‘head south’ as his only objective Castiel kept moving.

He was outside of a dusty little town in Texas when he initially sensed someone watching him. The sun hung high in the sky but there was a chill in the air that didn’t belong. Cas surveyed his surroundings, another soul couldn’t be seen or heard for miles. However, he knew something was near.There was too much exposure on the road so he chose a house at random and hoped the presence would follow him inside. The interior was cozy yet clearly abandoned. Although the home had plenty of furniture it was completely void of any personal items, knick knacks or pictures. The walls were faded in circles and squares where pictures might have hung. He wondered briefly why the family had decided to move on and leave so much behind. Were they forced to leave due to some unfortunate circumstance? Did they just grow tired of this place and only take what was essential? 

At least they left comfortable couches and chairs he could occupy. He took a seat and waited. There was no way to be sure that whatever was following him was Dean but all other possibilities he forced away. Even if it was Dean would it still be Dean? 

That was another unwelcome thought he shoved away. He’d rebuilt Dean and spent every moment since getting to know and appreciate every part of his friend. Nothing, not even The Mark could change that. Instead of lamenting over what could or could not be he took stock of himself. Crowley had been able to provide some amount of his grace. The sneaky bastard had taken it from him when they were...partners. Although he was thankful getting a piece of him back he hated that he wasn’t at full power. If he was he could’ve found Dean by now, taken him home, gotten him help. 

Done something. Done more.

No. No, it didn’t matter. He was there now. He was about to find Dean, he could feel it.

The sun was low in the sky when the door burst inward. Cas was up and on the defense before the figures could cross the threshold. The first he pinned against the nearest wall easily cutting through his chest with his angel blade. The second was much quicker and was able to get a hand on Cas’ shoulder and throw him off balance. Even in his weakened state he was able to pivot and land on top of the demon.

“When will you abominations learn it takes far more than two demons to get the best of me?” Castiel panted.

The demon flashed his black eyes with a smile and grunted, “That’s why there’s four of us.” 

Before the realization of the words hit him Castiel felt a searing pain in his back. He rolled away but the pain only allowed him to get to his knees. His breath came out in short huffs as he assessed his situation. The healing had begun but it was far too slow for him to be able to come out of this fight without suffering near fatal injuries.

There was no way out. He steeled himself against his fate and got ready to charge. If he was lucky, not that he has ever had any amount of luck, he could take out two of the three before losing consciousness. 

His first strike was a flash between breaths. The angel blade hitting the jugular of the nearest assailant. Effective but aggravated his injuries. He was forced to swing wide and wild, missing completely. The wall came swiftly to meet him as he slumped against it. The two demons advanced slowly, smiling ugly and twisted. Black spots formed around Cas’ vision and he shook them away.

Castiel raised his blade and issued a silent apology to all those he was letting down, those who he couldn’t save.

“Oh Cas, you started without me.”

All eyes shot to the open doorway and there stood Dean Winchester, or what used to be him. Castiel watched as best he could the blur of movement that took place over the next fifteen seconds. Soon the house was silent again.

"Thank you, Dean. You're welcome Cas. Nice to see you too, buddy old pal." Dean said as he piled the bodies in the far corner of the room. He wiped the blood from his hands and the knife he had used to dispatch the other demons.

"Buddy?" Cas whispered, still in shock unsure if it was from the fact Dean was there or his casual tone. 

"Yeah, you know buddy, friend. That's what we are, right?" When Cas didn't answer Dean's expression changed from light to something unreadable. "Oh that's right. I'm just one of them now. An abomination."He flashed black eyes and gestured to the twisted heap of bodies.

Castiel's stomach dropped at the sight, "Dean you need to come with me. Sam is worried sick…"

"I've been following you for weeks you know," Dean interrupted. He started to tidy the room picking up furniture and kicking rubble to the side with his shoes. "I knew you'd come after me but you were going the wrong way man."

"Dean," Castiel tried again slowly.

"I'm not surprised. Crowley could only tell you what I wanted him to know. He was good company for a while but he got whiney." Dean ignored Cas' words and headed upstairs. 

Castiel followed cautiously. Now that he was no longer being attacked, his healing was moving along. His back ached but it was nothing compared to the pain in his chest seeing Dean as a demon. 

Cas found Dean in what looked to be the master bedroom. A large plush bed took up most of the space. A wooden chair and matching desk was tucked into a corner. Dean stood in front of the closet. 

"I used to think I'd have a house like this when I was growing up." Dean didn't turn to look at Cas.

"Dean. You need help. I can take you back to Sam. He wants you home. We just want--"

Dean's reaction was visceral. He was towering over Cas in a millisecond, eyes black and angry, "What about what  _ I  _ want? Did you ever think I like being this way?" 

Cas held his ground, "This isn't you. We just need-"

"No! Don't tell me what I need. I'm so tired of everyone telling me what I need to do, to be, to act." His voice softened, "Please. Not you too, Cas." Dean backed off a little but made no effort to put any space between them.

Dean looked unsure and angry and there may have been just a ghost of vulnerability in his eyes. It was like looking at a volcano trapped in a bubble, fragile but full of raw power and energy. 

Cas set his shoulders, "What do you want Dean?"

"To be free. To have fun. I don't want to have to worry about Sammy, heaven, hell, another apocalypse. I want to be done with all of it."

"Even me?" Dean didn't answer and Castiel pressed on, "It's not in your nature to give up on anything. Why start now? You're lying to me and to yourself. Tell me the truth."

"The truth? You can't handle the truth." Dean teased but there was an edge to his voice.

"Try me."

"Truth is…" Dean advanced on Cas again, "The truth is I've been having fun Cas. Enjoying every vice. Even trying some new ones but there was something missing no matter how much I enjoyed myself."

Castiel didn't realize he was moving until his back hit the wall. He had avoided Dean's eyes but took a chance to look at him. They were terrifying for entirely different reasons. The void was replaced by clear emerald. Intense yet so sincere they weighed on Castiel's chest, his arms, his entire being rooting him to the spot.

It was a dangerous play but if he could keep him talking maybe he could entice Dean into coming back. At the very least talking to Sam. "I'll ask again. What do you want?"

"You," Dean kept the small space between them and crossed his arms. "I missed you."

It was Castiel's turn to be angry. All of this could've been avoided. The worrying, searching, the bloodshed all done with if Dean would stop being so childish.

"D-Dean? What are you talking about?" Cas stammered.

"Come on, Cas I thought we were telling the truth. You know exactly what I'm talking about." 

There were certain truths Castiel couldn't accept and this was the top of the list. Yes, in a fever dream or a parallel universe he could've been able to indulge himself but not here. Not with this version of his friend. It wasn't really him just the Mark twisting his mind and making him say things he didn't mean.

"Dean I don't know…" Cas began.

"That I'm serious?" Dean interrupted, "You see that's the thing about being a demon. I don't have to lie or pretend anymore."

"This isn't funny Dean. I came here to help you and you make fun of me. It's cruel." Castiel put more space between them. It wasn't fair using his secrets against him like that. How dare he?

He was near the door when he looked back at Dean, "I am your friend." Castiel approached Dean again, barely containing his emotions, "I want to help you."

"Friend. Ok, yeah friends." Dean said gently closing the space a little more.

“If you want me,” Castiel growled, “come and get me.”

Deanmon paused, languidly sweeping a hand up and under Castiel’s chin. “Want you in which way, sweetheart? Don't get me wrong, both involve ropes, but it's an important distinction to make before we proceed.”

Castiel was going to scold Dean for teasing him again but found himself at a loss for words. Not that he could speak anyway with Dean suddenly kissing him. He tried to pull away, to do the right thing but Dean kept a hand under his chin and his lips firm. If this is what Dean wanted, who was he to deny him? He tentatively placed his hands on Dean's hips. It was the right thing to do judging by the way Dean moved closer and locked Castiel's lips asking for entrance.

Cas was lost in the kiss. His mind was struggling to keep up with what was happening. He had no idea where to focus. Dean felt different than anything he'd experienced before. The rough way his stubble drug against his face such a contrast to the gentleness of his hand under his chin. Dean's other hand slid up his shoulder then back down to his wrist. 

Then something hard and cold wrapped around it. Again Castiel tried to pull away but he felt weak. He looked accusingly at the warded handcuffs then at Dean.

"Had to distract you to get them on. I took them from the bunker and kinda hoped I'd get to use them this way." Dean smiled.

"I thought this scenario included ropes?" 

"Nice try. I know you got some mojo left and for what I want to do I need you pliable."

"Dean." Cas warned half-heartedly.

"Castiel." Dean cooed.

Cas inhaled sharply and kissed Dean again. Even with the cuffs he was able to begin push Dean backwards. If Dean allowed it, that was no one's business but their own.

When they got close to the bed Dean spun them and pushed Cas onto it. He landed with an annoyed plop. There wasn't time to complain because Dean was on top of him instantly putting the other cuff around his wrist. He was at Dean's mercy completely now.

"I'm going to show you what I want. What I've wanted." 

"Dean...I" 

"Can you just turn your brain off please? Stop questioning me." 

Cas closed his mouth. He would take whatever Dean gave. Dean needed this needed him. He nodded.

Dean pushed Cas' cuffed hands above his head then slid down his body. He straddled the angel's thighs and opened his trenchcoat then his dress pants without preamble. Cas lifted his hips and allowed Dean to slid down his pants and underwear all at once. 

"Next time I'll take my time I promise," Dean said mostly to himself, "This...is awesome. You're awesome Cas."

Dean took Cas in his hand and stroked lightly. With the cuffs muting his powers Cas couldn't filter the sensation through his grace nor suppress the choked off sound he made. Dean took the head of his dick into his mouth and sucked. 

Cas moaned and Dean moaned around him. He took Cas down and nuzzled his pubic hairs with his nose. Dean just stayed there breathing around Cas while the angel fought against every instinct telling him to buck up into the wet heat. If Dean didn't move soon he'd lose that fight.

Then Dean swallowed around him. Cas couldn't be blamed, not really, for the way his hips bucked off the bed forcing himself deeper into Dean's throat. Dean definitely didn't blame him he didnt even flinch just pinned Cas' hips to the bed and continued to suck. He pulled up slowly leaving a slick trail.

"I thought I was eager," He smiled. 

Cas was breathing harshly already. The way Dean's lips shined with spit was not helping at all. Dean when back to work sucking Cas down, enthusiastically. He paid attention to every part of his dick. Alternating between sucking him to the hilt and using his tongue to massage the sensitive underside and pulling off to kiss the head. He used both hands one to play with Castiel's balls the other to stroke what wasn't in his mouth. 

All Cas could do was hold on and feel everything. He white knuckled the headboard, bucking up. Tension began to build. Heat was spreading into every inch of his being. Close he was so very close. His toes curled, his fingers ached, he squeezed his eyes shut.

Then the feeling was gone. Dean was holding him at his base effectively choking off his orgasm. Cas thrashed on the bed while Dean pinned him smiling. 

"You're evil," Cas panted.

"You have no idea," Dean smirked and flashed black eyes again. Eyes still back he lowered his mouth back onto the angel and began again.

**Author's Note:**

> Um yeah there it is. I may continue this
> 
> Follow me on tumblr or twitter at the same name. I hope you liked it.


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